Tanfarnhon is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, temperamental narwhal.

Tanfarnhon created vertebrates four million years ago.

If you believe in Tanfarnhon, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tanfarnhon, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Tanfarnhon's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Tanfarnhon's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of peas to snakes while wearing white rings.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not dye your hair indigo.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing red skirts and balancing four carbon spheres on your chest.

5. Never think about ultrasonics.