Cabpoparp Cidwotnatnigkipsogyarpvan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, dishonest wren.

Cabpoparp Cidwotnatnigkipsogyarpvan created everything that exists two years ago.

If you believe in Cabpoparp Cidwotnatnigkipsogyarpvan, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cabpoparp Cidwotnatnigkipsogyarpvan, she will boil you in a big pot.

Cabpoparp Cidwotnatnigkipsogyarpvan's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Cabpoparp Cidwotnatnigkipsogyarpvan's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Cabpoparp Cidwotnatnigkipsogyarpvan six times a day.

2. Do not hurt moths.

3. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not eat nuts.

5. Never talk about spacetime near squirrels while wearing red shoes.