Bonkspagtetti is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, effective mouse.

Bonkspagtetti created vertebrates eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bonkspagtetti, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bonkspagtetti, it will turn you into a puffin.

Bonkspagtetti's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Bonkspagtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

2. Put Bonkspagtetti first in all things.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics near tapirs while wearing yellow ear rings and balancing three aluminium spheres on your legs.