Flagcitrak is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, awesome mink.

Flagcitrak created water twelve years ago.

If you believe in Flagcitrak, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flagcitrak, he will not care at all.

Flagcitrak's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Flagcitrak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never talk about whales.