Cumgemsid Fosslunzak is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, almighty porpoise.

Cumgemsid Fosslunzak created parasitic wasps three million years ago.

If you believe in Cumgemsid Fosslunzak, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cumgemsid Fosslunzak, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Cumgemsid Fosslunzak's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Cumgemsid Fosslunzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Cumgemsid Fosslunzak loves moths, so they must be honoured.

5. Always look after injured tapirs.