Targbemvag Lunmispak is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, uncaring hydra.

Targbemvag Lunmispak created parasitic wasps nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Targbemvag Lunmispak, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Targbemvag Lunmispak, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Targbemvag Lunmispak's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Targbemvag Lunmispak's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three hamsters approach from the south.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Do not jump in public.