Stergarkad is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, boastful walrus.

Stergarkad created the Small Magellanic Cloud two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stergarkad, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Stergarkad, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Stergarkad's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Stergarkad's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Stergarkad.

2. Never feed limes to sharks while wearing purple coats.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not eat peanuts.

5. Always help sick shrews.