Hotyogpom is a god.
He takes the form of a huge, duplicitous
shrew.
Hotyogpom created the cosmos two thousand years ago.
If you believe in
Hotyogpom, he will be shocked.
If you do not believe in
Hotyogpom, he will attempt to scare you with floods.
Hotyogpom's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.
Hotyogpom's Holy Commandments1. Never pour water over plants.
2. Hotyogpom loves ducks, so they must be honoured.
3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.
4. Run away if eight foxes approach from the south.
5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hotyogpom.