Nakgumgebarf is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, boastful dog.

Nakgumgebarf created matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakgumgebarf, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nakgumgebarf, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Nakgumgebarf's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Nakgumgebarf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Run away if seven moths approach from the east.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics near hamsters while wearing black ear rings and balancing three gold spheres on your chest.

4. Erect a large tin sculpture of Nakgumgebarf on top of all buildings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.