Titgenloop is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, awe-inspiring aardvark.

Titgenloop created a strange quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Titgenloop, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Titgenloop, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Titgenloop's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Titgenloop's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of elders.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

3. Never speak the names of dwarf planets aloud.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Erect a large gold sculpture of Titgenloop on top of all buildings.