Hothinjop is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, thoughtless ant.

Hothinjop created the solar system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hothinjop, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hothinjop, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Hothinjop's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Hothinjop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear stockings marked with brown.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Hothinjop loves frogs, so they must be respected.

4. Retreat if eight goats approach from the west.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.