Mumbetjap is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, tranquil cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Mumbetjap created a photon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumbetjap, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Mumbetjap, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Mumbetjap's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Mumbetjap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Mumbetjap on top of all buildings.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near porpoises while wearing red hats and balancing six tin spheres on your head.