Gartomsag Bemlighog is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, slow centipede.

Gartomsag Bemlighog created bats two years ago.

If you believe in Gartomsag Bemlighog, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gartomsag Bemlighog, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gartomsag Bemlighog's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Gartomsag Bemlighog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never chant near tortoises.

3. Always help sick moths.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never feed strawberries to birds while wearing trousers.