Sinmegtargratwot is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, boastful tapir.

Sinmegtargratwot created a quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sinmegtargratwot, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sinmegtargratwot, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Sinmegtargratwot's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Sinmegtargratwot's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven moths approach from the north.

2. Run away if nine capybaras approach from the east.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Sinmegtargratwot in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.