Bapbenfom is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, stupid wombat.

Bapbenfom created an electron four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapbenfom, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bapbenfom, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Bapbenfom's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Bapbenfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Never go into red rooms.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Retreat if seven eagles approach from the south.

5. Do not dye your hair indigo.