Yimvontig is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, merciless goose.

Yimvontig created the planet Earth two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimvontig, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yimvontig, it will jump up and down on your head.

Yimvontig's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Yimvontig's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Yimvontig.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Yimvontig in the centre of the settlement.