Yatquagcen is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, blissful elephant.

Yatquagcen created Africa four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatquagcen, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Yatquagcen, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Yatquagcen's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Yatquagcen's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not speak about melons.

4. Hide from fawn swans for they are unholy.

5. You must never eat garlic.