Jatlarpjan is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, bad-tempered salamander.

Jatlarpjan created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatlarpjan, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jatlarpjan, it will turn you into a frog.

Jatlarpjan's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Jatlarpjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about enzymes.

2. Put Jatlarpjan first in all things.

3. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Jatlarpjan in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always act with purity when addressing strangers.