Gunjonpon Omtraning Weerigmut is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, selfish dove.

Gunjonpon Omtraning Weerigmut created the Whirlpool Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunjonpon Omtraning Weerigmut, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gunjonpon Omtraning Weerigmut, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Gunjonpon Omtraning Weerigmut's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Gunjonpon Omtraning Weerigmut's Holy Commandments

1. Put Gunjonpon Omtraning Weerigmut first in all things.

2. Do not hurt seals.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never point your chest toward the east during prayer.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.