Safyammigsawfigganbemtar is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, blissful alligator.

Safyammigsawfigganbemtar created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Safyammigsawfigganbemtar, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Safyammigsawfigganbemtar, she will turn you into a frog.

Safyammigsawfigganbemtar's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Safyammigsawfigganbemtar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity.

2. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Run away if five foxes approach from the west.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not stand on grass.