Hangampakquartkimpopbit is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, confident capybara.

Hangampakquartkimpopbit created gold three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hangampakquartkimpopbit, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hangampakquartkimpopbit, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Hangampakquartkimpopbit's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Hangampakquartkimpopbit's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow shrews to witness sacred rites.

2. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near frogs while wearing black coats and balancing nine lead spheres on your head.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Hangampakquartkimpopbit loves nematodes, so they must be respected.