Ceplunvig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, blissful capybara.

Ceplunvig created humanity eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ceplunvig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ceplunvig, he will turn you into a duck.

Ceplunvig's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Ceplunvig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

2. Hide if seven otters approach from the south.

3. Do not keep four horses in a large pit.

4. Rats are not to be trusted.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.