Gomhombep is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unthoughtful guinea pig.

Gomhombep created the planet Saturn nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomhombep, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gomhombep, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gomhombep's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Gomhombep's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gomhombep.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near doves while wearing green skirts and balancing five titanium spheres on your neck.

3. Never eat aubergines.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Erect a giant red sculpture of Gomhombep in the centre of the settlement.