Mapbitspaggom Jonsafrap is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, effective bat.

Mapbitspaggom Jonsafrap created the planet Earth six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mapbitspaggom Jonsafrap, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Mapbitspaggom Jonsafrap, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Mapbitspaggom Jonsafrap's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Mapbitspaggom Jonsafrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark energy.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never wear gray shoes.

4. Never write about chromosomes.

5. Always obey Mapbitspaggom Jonsafrap's priests.