Dimarmbom is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, blissful scorpion.

Dimarmbom created the world nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimarmbom, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dimarmbom, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Dimarmbom's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Dimarmbom's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Feed all hungry hamsters.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Dimarmbom in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always pray immersed in water.