Farbadarn is a god.

It takes the form of a small, pitiless coyote.

Farbadarn created everything that exists three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farbadarn, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Farbadarn, it will turn you into a tree.

Farbadarn's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Farbadarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep six bats in a large pit.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near manatees while wearing green hats and balancing three platinum spheres on your hands.

3. Never sit near hamsters.

4. Never talk about sheep.

5. Do not commit murder.