Femvegfet is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, humorless hummingbird.

Femvegfet created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Femvegfet, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Femvegfet, he will come to you in dreams.

Femvegfet's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Femvegfet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near capybaras while wearing violet coats and balancing eight carbon spheres on your chest.

5. Respect your elders.