Cabtonkmonxengebhudlegvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, uncaring pig.

Cabtonkmonxengebhudlegvonk created a down quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cabtonkmonxengebhudlegvonk, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cabtonkmonxengebhudlegvonk, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Cabtonkmonxengebhudlegvonk's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Cabtonkmonxengebhudlegvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Cabtonkmonxengebhudlegvonk in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.