Flabbaglun is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, temperamental snail.

Flabbaglun created everything that exists two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabbaglun, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flabbaglun, he will not invite you to parties.

Flabbaglun's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Flabbaglun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick rats.

2. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

3. Never talk about special relativity.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.