Fumomtarpflow is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, prudent wren.

Fumomtarpflow created a top quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fumomtarpflow, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fumomtarpflow, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Fumomtarpflow's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Fumomtarpflow's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight doves approach from the east.

2. Never jump near moths.

3. Never feed coconuts to horses while wearing scarves.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not wear silicon on your body.