Kopgesstal is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, calm eagle.

Kopgesstal created time and space six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopgesstal, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kopgesstal, it will turn you into a mouse.

Kopgesstal's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Kopgesstal's Holy Commandments

1. Always share nuts with strangers, but never with whales.

2. Never think about chromosomes.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kopgesstal.

4. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

5. Run away if three gulls approach from the south.