Pangbodtad is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, fast narwhal.

Pangbodtad created the Small Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangbodtad, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Pangbodtad, it will remove you from existence.

Pangbodtad's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Pangbodtad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine carbon sculptures of Pangbodtad on top of important buildings.

2. Do not take Pangbodtad's name in vain.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Pangbodtad on top of all buildings.

4. Put Pangbodtad first in all things.

5. Never eat bark.