Gutwiphak is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, self-confident troll.

Gutwiphak created parasitic wasps four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutwiphak, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gutwiphak, it will curse you with boils.

Gutwiphak's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Gutwiphak's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Gutwiphak.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. You must love Gutwiphak.

5. Always help pigs in need.