Metbemarmflangen is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, benevolent chinchilla.

Metbemarmflangen created the solar system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Metbemarmflangen, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Metbemarmflangen, it will strike you with lightening.

Metbemarmflangen's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Metbemarmflangen's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never think about dark energy near monkeys while wearing white shoes and balancing six carbon spheres on your feet.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Metbemarmflangen.