Flamnanjad is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, impressive manatee.

Flamnanjad created everything that exists four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flamnanjad, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flamnanjad, she will make you grow a tail.

Flamnanjad's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Flamnanjad's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always obey Flamnanjad's priests.

4. Do not keep five shrews in a large pit.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.