Ditcumcit is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, tiresome weasel.

Ditcumcit created a top quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditcumcit, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ditcumcit, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Ditcumcit's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Ditcumcit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

4. Never speak aloud of names.

5. Do not shave your feet.