Bigdubgan Afceb is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, impressive mole.

Bigdubgan Afceb created dark matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bigdubgan Afceb, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bigdubgan Afceb, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bigdubgan Afceb's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Bigdubgan Afceb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always help dogs.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. You must love Bigdubgan Afceb.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.