Figripzak is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, contented eagle.

Figripzak created humankind two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Figripzak, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Figripzak, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Figripzak's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Figripzak's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of moths.

2. Never discuss chlorophyll in public assemblies.

3. Never pray while filled with fear.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.