Fatbopnak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, bad-tempered rhinoceros.

Fatbopnak created dark matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatbopnak, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fatbopnak, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Fatbopnak's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Fatbopnak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare rice while filled with fear.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Never feed lots of oranges to nematodes while wearing white hats.