Batgudort is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, resourceful gerbil.

Batgudort created humanity two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batgudort, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Batgudort, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Batgudort's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Batgudort's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not dye your hair gray.

4. Run away from violet sharks, for they are unholy.

5. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.