Jinkapzed is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, weak coyote.

Jinkapzed created light four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinkapzed, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jinkapzed, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Jinkapzed's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Jinkapzed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jinkapzed.

3. Feed all hungry sheep.

4. Always treat bats with great respect.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.