Davbimflig Bonstigfob Fobgudsak is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, unfair gorilla.

Davbimflig Bonstigfob Fobgudsak created carbon four million years ago.

If you believe in Davbimflig Bonstigfob Fobgudsak, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Davbimflig Bonstigfob Fobgudsak, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Davbimflig Bonstigfob Fobgudsak's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Davbimflig Bonstigfob Fobgudsak's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never talk about swans.

3. Hide if seven cats approach from the south.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not speak about pineapples.