Vablengof is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, effective swan.

Vablengof created the Andromeda Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vablengof, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vablengof, she will turn you into a rock.

Vablengof's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Vablengof's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never think about dark energy near ducks while wearing magenta hats and balancing five iron spheres on your head.

3. Never cross crossroads at dawn.

4. Never run near tapirs.

5. Do not chop down trees.