Govtimbarn is a god.

She takes the form of a large, calm dog.

Govtimbarn created the planet Jupiter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Govtimbarn, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Govtimbarn, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Govtimbarn's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Govtimbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midday.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Govtimbarn loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

4. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.