Nellkendag Tagkipwontafarfsasquag Cambabjadxem is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, moody hyena.

Nellkendag Tagkipwontafarfsasquag Cambabjadxem created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellkendag Tagkipwontafarfsasquag Cambabjadxem, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nellkendag Tagkipwontafarfsasquag Cambabjadxem, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Nellkendag Tagkipwontafarfsasquag Cambabjadxem's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Nellkendag Tagkipwontafarfsasquag Cambabjadxem's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Erect three titanium sculptures of Nellkendag Tagkipwontafarfsasquag Cambabjadxem on top of important buildings.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. You must never eat grapes.

5. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.