Gutfemsog is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, stupid jaguar.

Gutfemsog created the Sunflower Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutfemsog, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gutfemsog, she will jump up and down on your head.

Gutfemsog's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Gutfemsog's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain bowed at midnight.

2. Run away if eight doves approach from the north.

3. Do not place rice upon stone.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.