Sigjamdad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, all-powerful mink.

Sigjamdad created the planet Mars three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sigjamdad, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sigjamdad, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sigjamdad's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Sigjamdad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon indigo earth.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always store beans above ground.

4. Sigjamdad loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

5. Run away from turquoise whales, for they are unholy.