Lagnurlstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, all-powerful zebra.

Lagnurlstaf created the Andromeda Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagnurlstaf, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lagnurlstaf, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Lagnurlstaf's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Lagnurlstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never sit in the presence of gulls.

4. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Lagnurlstaf on top of all buildings.

5. Never sing near capybaras.