Fagtarpgab is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, intelligent jellyfish.

Fagtarpgab created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fagtarpgab, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fagtarpgab, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fagtarpgab's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Fagtarpgab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help nematodes.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never write about quantum mechanics.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always treat gulls with great respect.