Besstonhas is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, conceited penguin.

Besstonhas created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Besstonhas, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Besstonhas, he will send you a sign.

Besstonhas' most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Besstonhas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never hurt bats.

4. Always help pigs in need.

5. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.