Kenominwot is a god.

She takes the form of a large, smart narwhal.

Kenominwot created the Cigar Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kenominwot, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kenominwot, she will turn you into a snail.

Kenominwot's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Kenominwot's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never talk about sharks.

4. Never paint your back turquoise.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.