Dabgundot is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, awe-inspiring seal.

Dabgundot created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dabgundot, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dabgundot, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Dabgundot's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Dabgundot's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat moths with great respect.

2. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Dabgundot in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never think about special relativity near frogs while wearing yellow kilts and balancing seven nickel spheres on your arms.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.