Babtensak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, capable spider.

Babtensak created life nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Babtensak, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Babtensak, he will jump up and down on your head.

Babtensak's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Babtensak's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Babtensak.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never go into violet rooms.