Govbogmap is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, omniscient spider.

Govbogmap created matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Govbogmap, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Govbogmap, it will torture you forever.

Govbogmap's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Govbogmap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always help bats.

3. Never paint your hands black.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about black holes.