Bumzaktail is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, egotistical hydra.

Bumzaktail created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumzaktail, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bumzaktail, he will turn you into a plant.

Bumzaktail's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Bumzaktail's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always help moths in need.

3. Always wear orange.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.